HW 31- Exploring Methods of M, M, C, A, & Aggrandizing the Self

Part A

So you like to wear make-up I see, why is that?

For starters I don’t wear a lot of make up but I do think that a little make-up can enhance your natural beauty and improve upon what nature has given you.

How long have you been wearing make up?

13, I probably just started with mascara and lip-gloss, probably lip gloss first. When I was a kid I always read fashion magazines so I probably learned a lot from reading how to trick from things like 17 magazine. I didn’t learn anything about make-up from my sisters but I learned a lot from my mom and I have very fond memories about watching my mom put on make-up when I was a kid.

You mentioned you read a lot of fashion magazines; did this affect what you wore?

Yes, because I always liked clothes and I used to make clothes for my dolls when I was a kid and I even bought a dress I saw in the magazine once because I thought it was cool. I was making clothes for my dolls when I was like 4 or 5, so it wasn’t a stretch when I got into fashion.

Would you say you wear a lot of fashionable clothes?

Yes, with my background in fashion and I always thought that clothes were a really important part of how you are judged, so why not be judged well? When you go l=on a job interview you should look at a persons shoes and their nails, you can learn a lot about somebody.

Why were you into fashion?

I liked the way they looked. I liked to try different looks and changing my look and one of the ways I could do that was through clothing. I guess I am somewhat chameleon like, it was a way for me to express myself through fashion and clothes. And then I did work for a world famous fashion designer, which didn’t hurt so I got into clothes even more with that. After I worked for Vivienne (Westwood), it helped me make sense of what I was putting out in the world and how to play around with my look. It helped me to define and try to hone-in on my style. Working with Vivienne Westwood shaped my fashion sense tremendously. I consider a genius and myself lucky to have been able to work so closely with her.

Part B

After talking to my mom about why she likes to wear high-end clothes, I applied a similar lens to myself, asking why I wear what I wear. For the record, what I wear tends to be graphic T-shirts with a pop-art type of image or a comic book-type image. When not wearing one of those, I am wearing a button-down t-shirt, long-sleeve. I wear all of these with jeans. I say that I wear these things because they represent things that I like. However, that is not always true. I have a t-shirt that has a bike on it, and while I enjoy riding bikes the shirt has nothing to do with that. So why do I wear it then? Well, in some regards because of my dad. He always gave me his old clothes as I grew into my middle school and high school years, and I wore many of them for quite some time, including the t-shirt of a bike. In instances like that, I wore these clothes because I thought they were cool. I thought this because I had gotten compliments in my dad’s clothes many times before. So by wearing them, I thought I would look cool.

However, with other clothing selections, the reasoning changes. The only clothes I feel that I do truly wear because they are comfortable is jeans. Jeans are sturdy, don’t get too visibly dirty, and I can throw them on day after day if I really want to. So those I wear because of comfort. However, in the last year I have started to wear button-down shirts, which I used to hate. I wear them now because I think I look good in many of them. This logic applies towards all of fashion though so it isn’t exactly revolutionary. The entire fashion industry is based on trying to look cool and to look your best. This makes fashion a very superficial business, but it can seep down to a deeper level. For example, going back to the button-down shirts, I often wear them because they make my girlfriend happier (I think), because I look nicer in them and it shows I am making an effort. This is a little thing that doesn’t impact me in many ways but it can have a chain reaction that I feel is worth it. I think that the whole process becomes subconscious but leads to things later on. Many things are like this, a lot of the ways of disguising ourselves or acting a certain way because we “like it”. We don’t actually like the act itself, but rather the consequences and what it leads to. This is arguable, but often true and is a matter of opinion.

HW 30- Psychological and Philosophical Theorizing of Cool

What are the sources of this sense of meaninglessness but also of a need for a sense of meaning?

Humans are composed of many things, such as oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, and many other chemical compounds and substances. Despite this, most people feel empty, they feel like something is not quite right in their lives, that they don't have the life they should. Viktor Frankl called this the existential vacuum, and he got it right on the nose there, because it surely sucks.

Viktor Frankl proposes this idea, that of the existential vacuum, quite plainly. It is the psychological condition in which a person doubts that life has any meaning. This is brought upon by a period of time in which life stalls, where there a new lack of initiative and interest. Frankl argues that this state was brought upon by the process of industrialization, that with instinct and social tradition being countered by society man has no direction and does not know what he wants to do. In more detail, Viktor Frankl discusses that individualism is rejected by most people in favor of conforming to a social standard or group. As a result, the individual relies mainly upon what others do and the actions that they dictate, causing their own lives meaning to be neglected. However, on a larger scale, this curtain can be pulled back so that this theory encompasses the entire "evolution of man", as Frankl discusses that this can be traced back to when man began to lose his animal instincts to become truly human. This abandonment of the past connects with the loss of tradition from a cultural standpoint that many feel, especially in America.

I feel like much of what Viktor Frankl proposes here makes sense, from man's loss of his animalistic self to the loss of tradition that many experience. As a result, I put much of the blame for meaninglessness of humanity on the shoulders of the parents. Not all parents though, but rather the newer breeds of parents, the parents that increasingly seem to hover over their children and watch their every move. The helicopter parent.

I intern at an elementary school, the same elementary school I went to as a child. In the six and a half years since I graduated, the school has changed quite a bit, getting rid or benches in the yard, certain games in the gym, and changing the curriculum so that the older grades (4th and 5th grade) have to do some homework online. If a child gets hurt, they sit off on the side and take out a book or do homework. The school is no longer allowed to hold bake sales with homemade food because the calories are not listed. Now, granted these things are not bad on their own, however together they cause an overwhelming change in the attitude and mentality of the student body, and by 5th grade it is clear that much of these changes will be permanent. And why are these changes there? Does anybody really think that a child cares about any of these things, that by adding or taking them away that they will have a better life and enjoy it more. No, these changes are made by parents who want to control every detail of their children's lives even when they are far away at home or work.

I would argue that these minor changes in fact cause the very same feelings of emptiness that people experience later in life. Frankl argues that as mankind has gradually lost it's animalistic instinct, which children maintain much more than their adult counterparts, that feelings of emptiness have developed more and more. This could be because they are spoon-fed everything. As a child, I remember how proud of myself I was when I learned how to avoid getting hit by the dodgeball, a simple activity that cannot be truly taught but instead learned by the participant. This game is no longer allowed in schools because they say it causes psychological damage to children. By taking away the opportunity for the child to learn on their own and to get past the trappings of the game, you take away a sense of meaning that could fill them up. You never feel as good when somebody takes something away from you instead of letting you conquer it and gain a sense of accomplishment.

Little moments of accomplishment are key to a meaningful life. These moments later lead to big moments of accomplishment. An artist does not feel as empty as he would without his renowned art, rather they make him feel worthy. By having a child succeed and accomplish things here and there, they remain happy and healthy. A parent does not have to stop them from failing to give them this sense, and they do not have to shield them from reality. A child who goes out and plays outside learns common sense, gains a sense of the world, and becomes a stronger person later in life. This is key to gaining meaning, because if you are proud and assured of yourself, then meaning comes without the need for things such as "cool".

To make a long point shorter, Viktor Frankl argued that by repressing animal instinct that people are forming pockets of emptiness. I am in agreement, and I trace this to childhood and helicopter parents who do not let their child progress in a more natural, primitive state. By trying to treat children as adults and protect them from failure, they are making them weak and full of holes that they try to fill with anything they can later in life. In order for meaninglessness to cease, we must let the children be children and fall, break, and ultimately fail, so that they may come out stronger and accomplished.

HW 29- Merchants of Cool

Should advertising to young people be banned?

As I write this, I struggle to find a side to choose on the hot-topic of whether advertising to young people should be banned. On one hand, I say that it is wrong, that young people should be able to progress at their own rate and decide what they want to spend their money on. However, on the other hand I feel that advertising is unavoidable and even if consciously stopped, it will happen on another level. On yet another hand, I feel that young people are such a vital part of the economy that things would not be stable without them being targeted. By the end of this though, I will choose my side and lay down my allegiances.

Before I start on the main arguments, let's look at what advertising is by definition. "The act or practice of calling public attention to one's product, service, need, etc., especially by paid announcements in newspapers and magazines, over radio or television, on billboards, etc." (Dictionary.com). In my own words, it is the act of drawing attention to something through announcements. Keep this in mind.

"Teens are like Africa" (48 seconds into the first part). Hearing that said, so matter-of-factually is something that is quite unsettling. If you are of African heritage, or even not, you know what has happened when rich men in suits refer to Africa, seeing vast resources and opportunities but leaving the people ravaged. If teenagers are then like Africa, what does this say about what happens once they reach 20, and are no longer the target audience? They cannot think for their own and become fractured shells of beings, unable to function as they once were. Later another spokesman for an advertising agency says that "If you don't understand and recognize, what they're thinking and what they're feeling, you're going to lose, you're absolutely going to lose" (53 seconds into the first part). I'm sorry, are teenagers a game now? Are we suddenly the competition that you have to conquer over? Impersonal statements like this also leave you wondering whether all of these higher-ups actually care or even realize what they are doing to teenagers. In case you are seeking an answer, they don't care.

However, advertising is impossible to stop. Look at Britney Spears. Her music is not an ad., telling you to buy some product, it is instead a product itself with side effects of altered ideals. With her video Baby One More Time she is projecting a story that she can't bear to be alone, advertising the ideal of a couple. However, different interpretations of the lyrics can make it seem alright for girls to stay in abusive relationships because they really like the person. Songs like this also project the ideal of beauty. This therefore encourages the\at people invest in products that will make them prettier. And there is your ad right there, coming from a non-advertising source, one that cannot be altered as it is a deep-rooted part of the culture an changing it would be perceived as unconstitutional. Proof that, even without billboards and commercials, advertising cannot be stopped through mediums such as music, but on a larger level, word of mouth.

In many ways though, it would be irresponsible to stop advertising for young people if it were possible. Teenagers are responsible for anywhere between 100 and 150 billion dollars of our economy every year (3 minutes and 23 seconds into the first part). Now, say you remove the advertising, what do they spend their money on? That is what the marketing agencies of America want you to wonder. Granted, what would eventually happen would be a decrease in profit and in general sales, because kids would either not spend the money or they wouldn't receive it. As a result, the economy would dip, with major agencies having to restructure their companies. Also, even in this situation, the advertising would be focused towards the youngest audience they could approach, and this would trickle down through word of mouth. The only way to rid this effect would be to get rid of all advertising and word of mouth, which would destroy the economy.

All in all, I feel like the best way to approach advertising is to get rid of it. Let the product advertise itself. Companies spend upwards of $20,000 just to see what teenagers think is cool, when in reality they could just spend some money on interviewing kids to see what they think is cool. Over-exposure is never seen as cool, so this would make the products cooler as well. If companies focus on making a better product with all of this leftover money, they would end up with a larger profit and all in all a more stable and long-lasting appeal.

HW 28- Informal Research- Internet, Magazines, and TV shows

How to be cool-AskMen.com

The guide to "cool" can be found on nearly every website. While often generic, AskMen.com had something not surprising but still unique to a degree. The first part of being cool, have a nice girlfriend. The article then expanded and including things like "being called more than you call" and "having a purpose when you call, not just to talk". Later, the article said "be scarce", alluding to not always being available. If you are always available for somebody you will be seen as "needy".

On a more emotional level, the article suggests that in order to be seen as "cool" one must not broadcast their weaknesses and should associate with "cool" people. If you bring losers to the group, you are seen as a loser, so bring cool people and be seen as cool. Lastly, don't ever "lose your cool", a.k.a. don't get angry or frustrated, because nobody wants to see you get all riled up, man.

Be Cool

This guide on how to be cool does not specify towards men, like the AskMen.com guide, but rather it approaches both genders on an equal playing field. The guide begins with not caring about what other people think of you. However, step two is "Be aware of how others will perceive you". The guide approaches this contradiction by acknowledging the difference between letting opinions affect your self esteem and being aware of how you come off to others.

The guide then has other generic statements like "Don't be afraid to be different" and "find real friends".

My favorite part of this guide to cool was the seventh guideline, "Learn how to laugh at yourself". This is a personal favorite of mine and it is something that you rarely see in person and you almost never see acknowledged. The guide says that doing so humanizes you, which is true, but it also shows you know you aren't perfect, which I feel is even more important.

How do you turn from geek to cool?

The was not so much of a guide as an answer to somebody's question online. The question being "How do you turn from geek to cool?" The answer that was posted was surprisingly heartfelt and real for an online generic answer. The answerer stated that you don't need to change who you are to be cool, claiming that you can be a geek and still be cool.

However, in this answer their impression of what is cool came through, mainly being popular and being social. While somebody can be into anime and video games and things typically labeled as geeky, they can still be seen as cool if they are social and wear make-up and do their hair. While this raises questions, I will leave it for now.

How to be cool- AlanWho.com

Lastly we have Alan Who's perspective on how to be cool. This guide starts with telling you in the first guideline that you are already cool, despite what everybody told you. He then lists how to be cool. The article should stop, because what guidelines could I possibly need if I am already cool? Regardless, the following guidelines cover everything from posture to social interactions, with Alan Who stating that you should stand tall and upright and that you should never lose your temper and should use you own lingo instead of yo and ight and later. I thought that this latter suggestion was good and I had not seen it anywhere else, but it makes logical sense that if you are cool you start trends and don't participate.

My favorite part of this guide was that the last guideline said you are constantly learning. Those not learning are busy dying, as the article says. I thought that this was a very cool perspective to see and I had never thought about where learning fit into a larger opinion of cool outside of my own. I thought that this was refreshing and shows that intelligence is in fact valued in some circles.

Bibliography

• WikiHow. December 7, 2009

• "How do you turn from Geek to Cool?". Wiki.Answers. December 7, 2009 <http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_turn_from_geek_to_cool>

• Who, Alan. "How to Be Cool". AlanWho.com. December 7, 2009

• Bayer, Jeff. "Be Cool". AskMen.com. December 7, 2009

HW 27- Informal Research- Interviews and Surveys

Family member-

Me: Do you think that tabloids are cool?

Family member: Yes.

Me: Why?

Family member: Because I think that that shit is funny.

Me: But would you say it is "cool"?

I think it's actually kind of pathetic, but I think that it's funny. I'm kind of a jerk (Laughs).

Me: Just to clarify, what is your definition of cool?

Family member: I hate this (Laughs again). Something that really kicks ass I guess. Somebody that isn't a wimp, somebody that just does whatever they want and they stick with their cause. I don't give a shit what anybody thinks and I think that makes somebody cool. They don't care if anybody follows them or not, they just do it anyways, I think that's cool.

Me: Going back, why do people live through celebrities?

Family member: People like to live through other people so they use to it to live a good life.

Me: Are children cool?

Family member: What does that mean? Some children are cool I guess. My children are cool (Laughs), but most kids are cool. But at the same time a lot of kids suck though. I think that it is too general to judge, some are good, some are bad, some are lame.

Me: Who is a cool celebrity? Or who is your favorite?

Family member: THE coolest celebrity... I have no idea (Laughs). Paris Hilton, Miley Cyrus (Laughs). Lady Gaga or Amy Winehouse. Because she is a train wreck and I love it. Kate Moss, David Bowie. I think they are pretty cool. Mick Jagger is really cool.

Me: Why are they cool?

Family member: Because none of them give a shit, they are all individuals and have their own style and aren't afraid to revel in it.

Me: Who did you think was cool when you were little?

Family member: Punky Bruster. Pippy Longstocking, Michael Jackson. They were really funky and they made me stop and pay attention, they stood out. I thought that was cool.

Street Interview 1-

Me: Are children cool?

Man with stroller: I think children are very cool, clearly (Laughs).

Me: Do you think that the mainstream media perceives children as cool?

Man with stroller: I don't really care. I think they're fun and that's all that matters to me.

Street Interview 2-

Me: Are tabloids cool?

British man: No, not at all.

Me: What do you think about the people that follow them so closely?

British man: I think poorly of them. They have a low I.Q.

Me: What about children, do you think they are cool?

British man: Yea, I suppose so, yes.

Me: Who is your favorite celebrity, or the celebrity you think is coolest?

British man: I don't have one. They are just human beings, people. Doesn't make them any cooler than anybody else.

Street Interview 3-

Me: I see that you are an animal lover, do you think that the media sees animal as cool?

Man with dog: Yes, they always seem to shine them in a pretty positive light.

Me: Do you think that kids are cool?

Man with dog: Well... no. I mean, not for me personally, I don't like kids that much.

Me: What do you think your family and friends would say?

Man with dog: They would think they are, they all pretty much like kids.

HW 26- Photos & Questions

Henry Guss, High Schooler

First off, some people say appearance is everything, so what would this say about you?

I am everything.

Do you ever see other people with this look when you're out and about?

No, I'm unique. Not really, nobody. Not many people are doing the button down shirt anymore.

How does that make you feel?

It makes me feel good, really good. I feel like an individual and different and not the same.

Would you say you're cool?

I'm quite warm actually. (Laughs) There's no such thing as cool.

What makes you say that?

Cool is whatever somebody makes it out to be and I make it out to be nothing.

Alex Simmons, Writer

So there is the old saying, appearance is everything. What would this say about you?

That I am a slob. (Laughs) I'm an easygoing kind of guy, I like to present myself well but I don't have to be fancy to do that.

Do you ever see other people with this look when you're out and about?

Yes, I do. There is what you call business casual and another level even, where people will wear a button down shirt unbuttoned with jeans when they work in computers or communications and don't have to worry about appearance as much.

How does that make you feel?

It doesn't bother me, I know who I am.

Would you say you're cool?

At times, I'm not perpetually cool nor do I think about being cool but there are times when yes, I think that I am cool. Cool is a state of mind and what I might think is cool, other people might disagree but I don't need their acceptance.

Do you think cool matters?

It's not really a yes or no question, it matters to some people but it shouldn't be how you judge yourself all the time, but it can be fun or it can be crippling if you let it overcome you and stop you from being who you are.

Name omitted, Art Student

First off, some people say appearance is everything, so what would this say about you?

Well, I think it's important not to look like a mess, because then people get a certain impression of you that may not be correct. appearance is how you project an image of yourself to the outside world, and I always keep that in mind when I get dressed in the morning. The way I look isnt precisely the way I want people to see me, but it's close enough.

What would make it precisely how you want people to see you?

Well it depends on the situation. Like on a casual level I wanna look laid back, but not like a slob, and put together but not too made up, if that makes sense. That reflects my general attitude but not really my 'inner self', mostly because my inner self is a huge freaking nerd.

Do you see other people with a similar look when you walk around?

Yeah, sometimes.

Do you care? How does it make you feel? Do you feel like you can connect more with them?

It doesn't really bother me. It's impossible to be entirely unique when it comes to clothes, and i don't really care unless people are looking at me and thinking "Oh my God HIPSTERRRRR" or whatever. Ugh, hipsters. I don't feel particularly like I connect with people based on appearance--mostly because I know I probably don't connect with them in terms of the way our minds work.

You mention "hipsters". What is it about them that annoys you? What would you call a hipster?

Hipsters. Pretentious, annoying, and nowhere near as intelligent or forward thinking as they think they are. The most irritating hipsters are the ones who have money yet insist on going to thrift stores and dressing themselves in secondhand clothes. They're a perfect example of people trying SO hard to be different that they just end up conforming.

So are you cool then?

(Snorts) Depends on your definition of cool. Am I conventionally cool, definitely not. Some people think I'm cool and a hell of a lot of people would say hell no.

Marco Gonzalez, Realist

Some people say appearance is everything, so what would this say about you?

I dress simply and efficiently to reflect who I am.

Is this a common look outside of yourself?

Not really, everybody seems to try to get a certain look but I choose my clothes based on how comfortable they are rather than how they look. I dress more for function than form.

Would you say that is a good way to summarize your mentalities in general?

Yes.

Would you be surprised to find this kind of function-first mentality in a more mainstream venue?

Yea. It’s easy to sell shiny shit, spin rims on cars for example, but it’s hard to sell something that just there to serve a purpose, and since corporations dictate what the mainstream says and shows they're going to display flashy pointless things that look nice but serve little to no purpose.

Do you think that the things the mainstream media promotes are cool then, by your own definition of the concept?

No, because things like skinny jeans may look cool but they're probably not that comfortable and wearing your pants "half-mast" can't be comfortable either, especially in winter so there's a lot of fads that may look nice but don't make sense logically to follow.

Do you think you are cool by your own definition?

To clarify, my definition of cool is someone who knows what they want to do, whether it's their purpose what they do for fun or whatever it may be. The attitude and “swagger will follow that”. By my definition I think I'm cool because I live my life the way I like it, I don't have to be an attention whore to be happy, I know what I like and don't like and I'm content with my life the way the it is, I don't need to dress it up in expensive shit to make it better.

Would the mainstream cool agree?

Probably not since I'm not dressed up in expensive clothes and I don't go to parties and get wasted or listen to mainstream music etc.

HW 25- Story Comments and Analysis

Part 1- Comments

Hannah-

Hannah, I liked your story. I felt like it was interesting to see how the girl thought she was cool and yet she tried to act cooler despite this. The boy complementing the girl and saving her is also pretty cool and I liked how you added in details such as the smell of his jacket.

Maggie-

Maggie, I like the simplicity of your story. Though you use no dialogue, you manage to convey a very surreal atmosphere that is like a waiting room of a hospital, with small talk and frantic personalities. I like how you convey cool by seeing through other people's fake faces and this is a common thread everybody is aware but rarely do you see this in the real world, which I think helped to add to the tone of the piece.

Rachel-

Rachel, I thought it was interesting that you pointed out bluntly what made her cool. I think that your story worked best when you led the reader to draw their own conclusions and left the girl a mystery. By having her ignore others and dismiss their opinions of her, I think that you made her seem like her own person, an individual, which is always cool. Adding in the copycats at the end was a nice touch to show the social impact she was having on the community and that others also thought she was cool.

Marco-

Marco, I found your story to really stand out amongst many of the ones I have read. Your more offensive look on what cool is helps to show that in fact, the narrator is the cool person, not those observed. By not selling out to some corporation to buy what's cool, you show that being true to who you are is cool. This is well supported by your talk of jocks and nerds and geeks, which I think was nice touch to show how cool is not one defined term and is different amongst different people.

Beatrice-

Beatrice, I found your story to be quite interesting. By having the girl simply isolate herself from everybody else, she has her individuality and that makes her much cooler than those around her who can't even work up the courage to talk to her. Music is very important here, because by ending and starting the story with music you show that Tatum is off in her own world, but a world of uncertainty and I think that this is an interesting thing to think about when one thinks of cool, how we can doubt ourselves or be unsure and still be cool. Good job.

Part 2- Analysis

Cool is not store bought, despite what the media would have you believe. Every story I read and even the one I wrote came to the realization that cool was in the way one acted, in their attitude. I think that this is a very key conclusion to come to, although it is a rather simple and obvious conclusion. If cool was truly store bought, why wasn't everybody cool? And if everybody did buy "cool" from the store, would it still be cool to have "cool"? No, cool is best when it comes from inside a person and they act like they don't care about anybody's opinion of themselves.

These stories all had another common theme amongst 4 of them, somewhat 5 depending on how you interpret Marco's story. This theme is that even if cool is not store bought, it can be enhanced. By having "cool" headphones or cool "jeans", somebody can have a "look" that makes them cooler. In the case of Hannah's story, the cool character fell into the category of bad boy/ladies man, even if not intentional. By having the "cool" character smooth talk and save the girl, he was also the typical hero of literature, saving the helpless damsel in distress. This is often seen as cool in many different representations. As for Rachel's story, by having the "cool" jeans and boots, the character was cool because she had copycats. While she was cool in addition to this, she was extra cool because of this.

I found it interesting that in none of the stories was anybody older cooler. I know the assignment was to discuss somebody around 17 years old who was cool, but nobody had any real interactions with older generations and none had anybody cool that was older than the protagonist. I think that while accidental, this does give insight in that people don't find older generations to be particularly cool. This is a pretty mainstream perspective and shows the effects of cool and the boundaries because nobody can maintain cool forever and nobody is cool in everybody's eyes, which connects to Marco's story about different groups of cool. All in all, cool is not all encompassing and is not eternal, but just something to fill the time between the actual meaningful activities of life.

Hw 24- Short Story 1

Have you ever seen an old western movie, where the cool new sherif comes in to a salon and takes names and kicks ass right from the get go? Yea, that's not the way High School works. The cool new sherif of our school didn't get over easily and didn't dominate from the beginning. Instead she walked into the classroom quietly, got introduced quickly by the teacher, and faded into nothing from the get-go.

I saw her in the back of the classroom, the green of her tank top complementing the purple of her mini-jacket, making her look the Joker fan-girl you knew she wasn't. Her jeans compressing her legs, she leaned back with her hand propped behind her head, a notebook out on the table with what seemed to be nothing more than just the Do-Now of the day and her heading. The teacher saw this too. I don't know if he saw this as an insult or a challenge, but whatever his reason, he called on her to answer the challenge problem on the subject he had just taught. The subject that the do-now didn't even talk about, so as far as I was concerned, she had no idea where to even start, explaining her lack of care in the goings-on.

I thought this was cold of him, to call on the new girl on the first day of advanced physics to go up to the board on a problem from a new subject everybody was struggling to complete. Eyes lifted from around the room as they watched her go up to the board. Not a word was uttered by her though. No angry retort that she had been called on, no whine that he was picking on the new kid, simple the tapping of her slight heels as she walked across the room to the board. She turned her back to us, wrote her answer, and sat down. Mouths slowly started to move again.

"Who is that?"

"I didn't even see her back there"

"Is that some college student here to learn how to teach?"

"I bet she doesn't even know the subject"

"This'll be interesting"

As the voices quieted, she chuckled to herself. I could tell she heard the voices, she didn't even care though. She went back to her former position at this point, as her own way of flipping everybody off. The teacher asked her to explain her answer, she told him simply and with an elegant flair like nobody else I had seen before, "I just did what you put on the board and used the formula's and wrote it down for you up there as I figured it out". He asked if she could explain it more than that and she said "Well I can't explain the way my mind works, all I know is that I was right and that you spelled his named wrong up there".

A hush over the room, all eyes stared at our teacher as he saw he had indeed misspelled it, and he went over how to solve the problem. Nobody looked back at her, but I had never stopped in the first place. She caught me looking at her and smiled a little smile, putting her head down to doodle in the void her notes would have inhabited if she hadn't already proved she didn't need any.

HW 23- 1st Constructivist Exploration of Cool

Cool is an interesting concept. It isn't something you can define properly or even hold onto for an extended period of time but it is something that most people recognize immediately. What is it about cool that is so easily accessible to everybody and yet so hard to maintain?

I think cool never really dies completely. Instead it fades from one group of people to another. For example, hippies were once very cool by mainstream society. They were everywhere you looked and they were the symbol of their times. They were in the mainstream grouping. However, as time progressed and people moved on with their lives and things changed, hippies left that group of people, being the mainstream, and moved on to form a smaller group of pure hippies that still exists today through the evolution of it's popularity. The same can be said about other concepts that expand past people as well. For example, in the 90's, Seinfeld was one of the top shows on TV and it was very cool to watch it and discuss it the next day. Now it has moved from this mainstream grouping into a lesser group of cool, the nostalgia group.

I think that cool is also dictated by the popular. I understand that this is not some grand new revelation, but those considered popular or cool do not take responsibility for their actions the way that they should. This changes the course of cool as well and makes it cool to be irresponsible and to not care about your actions. This is the general direction society has been heading in the last few years thanks to people like Amy Winehouse or Britney Spears who don't take care of anybody except for themselves, and even so they don't take tremendous care and often lead their lives into chaos. This is in right now and society heads down as a result.

Cool is not always about being popular and without a care though. Take for instance the 1986 hit song, "Hip to Be Square" by Huey Lewis and the News. This song is about being "square", or being a nerd. The song peaked at number 1 on the U.S. Billboard top rock tracks listings and reached number 3 in the overall U.S. Billboard category. With lyrics like "I used to be a renegade... but had to settle down" and "Now I'm playing it real straight", this song counters what makes most other songs popular and completely avoids what made other songs of the year such as "Addicted to Love" and "Greatest Love of All" so popular. This shows that cool isn't a constant, as I stated earlier, however it helps to establish a trend that can connect to today, such as love always being cool in some form, however where it was once the "Greatest Love of All" it is now "3". A very drastic change to be sure.

All links provided are via Youtube and may not be accessible through school connections.

HW 21- Art Project 1

My art piece is a mirror. It represents the viewer watching the screen, headphones on, blocking out the world. To the person in my piece, let's call him "You", his physical self is nothing. That is why You is hunched over, eyes glazed over with 1's and 0's. The only way I was even able to draw this picture was through actual imagery, of both people around the world (Via the internet) and myself in a mirror. If you ever see somebody like You staring at a screen, it is clear to you that it is a mirror. However, from this mirror much can be built through self-realization. By seeing the way You looks at the screen in front of his face, the way he lacks any presence with his physical self, shows that he is overly immersed and others can see parts of themselves in this and correct their own ways so as not to end up like You.

This piece can make people feel through themselves. You represents something that everybody can relate to in some regard and people can decide for themselves if they think this is wrong or not and if they need to correct their own ways. The piece should be a little off-setting though, meaning you shouldn't feel completely comfortable with what you see You doing and the way You acts in front of the screen. If people can take a second after viewing this to reflect on their own ways in front of screens and with digital-representational-devices than the piece has served its purpose.

What was most interesting while making this piece was that in order to get the expression of You, I had to take a picture of myself in a digital state staring at my computer screen. This worked out perfectly for me to use as reference, but the look on my picture was very difficult for me to look at. I felt very aware of myself while looking at the picture and it made me both disgusted by the expression but happy that it was not my natural state on the computer but rather an exaggeration. I do know many people that resemble You in this picture and that makes me slightly concerned over people's well being and on how they can express themselves in reality if they spend so much time like You, blinded and overwhelmed by the 1's and 0's of the screen.

HW 22- Big Paper, Final Version

The Digital Age

Introduction:

The dawn of the 2010's is right around the corner. Now is the time to reflect, to look back on what this decade will be known for. Where the 1960's had hippies, the 70's had disco, the 80's had rock and the 90's had funky colors on everything, the 2000's will be surely known as the digital age (or at least the start of it). In the last 10 years, everything from the internet to cell phones to video games has exploded onto the scene in ways bigger than ever before. In the end though, as with every decade before this one, a clear conclusion can be drawn. People are addicted to people. Every form of digital-representational-devices can be used to link people together in some form, be in direct or through a common bond over said device. The digital age is simply a new casing over the same product that is mankind.

Argument I:

Like Myspace before it, and Aim before that, and email prior to that (You can go back further to phones and even letters if you really want), Facebook is the top tool to connect the people of the world. Looking at the School of the Future graduating class of 2010, at least 69 different people have facebook accounts (Based on the friend list of myself, Henry Varona), and from that, a good 17 of those students were on it in the course of a 4 hour period (This is based on what they had posted online, they could have checked their facebook and not posted anything publicly). This is a common finding for American high school in New York City, and if expanded to the entire country similar ratios will be found to those on my friend list. So why do people go on it so often? Well I can't answer for everybody, but I go on it to connect with everybody I know online. I can talk through normal messaging, quizzes, notes (which reach a group of people), groups centered on a common thread, applications, pictures, and so much more. Facebook has changed the way people talk because you can talk in so many different ways. This is particularly attractive because it gives people the illusion of freedom, the choice to talk to their friends however they like and whenever they can. Facebook doesn't make you respond right away. Conversations that would take minutes in spoken word can take days or weeks on Facebook, making you feel like you are really connecting with somebody even if you aren't. You feel popular when you see how many people talk to you, you feel important in a way that you can look back on so you don't have to rely on memory. People can talk in such an easier fashion, it's no wonder that it's one of the top sites in the world.

Argument II:

The curse of the cellular telephone encompasses almost every American. With a phone on you, which many have or give their children so that they can be safe, you are never truly alone. You are connected to every single person in the world through a simple phone and thanks to this people can connect even more. Take a schoolroom environment for example, under the tables, in their bags, off to the side of the counter, cell-phones are used for texting, talking to people across the room, in the classroom next door, wherever. God-forbid anybody wait to talk to their friends or pay attention, everybody feels the need to be constantly connected to friends they want to be with now. Here's the kicker though, texting doesn't disappear once they go hang out with their friends. And that leads to the next example, a park. Imagine you are surrounded by 10 of your closest friends having a good time hanging out. You feel a vibrate coming from your pocket and you just got a text from somebody who couldn't make it, somebody who maybe doesn't fit into that particular group. So you text, and text and even with everything you need for social interaction available, you choose your phone over your friends to talk to even more. People are rarely satisfied by what they have ready for them at the moment and are constantly searching for more ways to talk to people and as a result more time face down at a screen. And that's not even including the applications they have now...

Argument III:

I love my XBox 360, I'm not going to lie about it or try and hide it. Having the range of games the system provides and the chance to play video games with people all around the world whenever I want to is a very special vice for me. Back in the 90's and early 2000's, video games were a staple of my childhood. When I wasn't out with my friends playing a sport or inside playing with toys, video games were king. I would invite my best friends over and we would play and yell and scream and have a good time. Now though, video games don't need a friend right next to you thanks to the internet. People can play from the safety of their own couch with their friend who is playing on their own couch. As a result, playing video games is a lot easier, but a side effect comes out of the situation. An online persona is created, reflecting your video game mentality. Like for me, I go from normality to a sarcastic shoot-you-in-the-back kind of guy, no respect unless you respect me. My friend who has the most insane temper in the world becomes a mellow, stay-in-the-back kind of guy. Everybody becomes a completely different person and this affects the way that certain people you interact with will see you, which is both good and bad, but in the end is not real.

Connections for Argument I:

This state that we are in did not come easily though. If you look at what I am discussing here, most of these things have been around for quite some time, so why is it that we now consider them to be such a big deal when grouped together (As they have been in the past by many other people)? Many reasons. For one, the graduating generation, AKA the class of 2010, grew up in a turbulent time for these digital-representational-devices. As we grew, so did the technology. Starting with dial-up as children, so that it was only a sometimes treat to go online, we slowly watched as the internet became more an more accessible as we became more capable of handling it. After dial-up came the Ethernet cord, which meant we could be on as often as we wanted as long as we had the cord plugged in, and we didn’t have to wait for the internet to boot up! After this, we had wifi, and suddenly as we reached high school, the typical point of rebellion, we could do whatever we wanted online whenever we wanted, not being able to be controlled and restrained by a cord.

As a result though, our key developmental stages where we become the person we are for the rest of our lives were assaulted by an onslaught of a new foe, the internet. Exposed to much more than we normally would be (In comparison with both previous generations and our natural world), many people were unable to separate themselves from the opportunities and experiences proposed to them. Take for instance, facebook. Facebook went from having 12 million users in the end of 2006 to having 50 million by October of 2007 (facebook.com). This surge took place during our grades freshmen and junior years, a time when most teenagers are starting to venture out on their own in terms of identity. Having so many people to be able to contact so much more often made people a big melting pot of selves, with depth being sacrificed for the quantity of friends. Reflecting on my early facebook days, nearly every conversation lasted less than 10 postings (Five each) and they were mainly conversations about what you had been up to lately and once wit was lost, the conversation was as well. 2 years later, facebook now has 300 million users, a grand leap given the span of time involved (facebook.com). Depth is still lost in the world of facebook, with only a rare conversation lasting, and even so it’s only because we are wittier now. This then affects how we interact with people in the real world and everybody winds up with a cocktail party mentality, walk around, mingle and tell funny jokes or stories, and repeat. Facebook has made this cocktail party spread to the world though, something we are much the weaker for.

This also leads one to wonder about future generations. Those younger than the class of 2010 will not have grown up with the gradual increase in the use of the internet, rather it will just be very in-your-face and they will be overwhelmed. This leads to a state much like feed, where everybody is plugged in all the time and eventually people lose the need or will to be an individual and thrive out on their own. This could be a major problem for the general success and evolution of society (At least American) and could result in a Wall-E like world.

Connections for Argument II:

Much like the predicament with the internet arose, texting and phone usage has undergone a similar chain of events. As children, we did not have cellular telephones on a large scale, but as we grew older, the popularity of them spread. Texting hit it big in the early 2000’s, right when our generation was reaching the later years of middle school and starting high school. Now, this has increased to the point where there are picture messages, video messages, and a multitude of full keyboards for constant texting. This has had much the same effect on youth as facebook has, with added convenience since it is a phone and much more common to find or keep with oneself. This too will then lead to future generations having a plugged-in state of mind.

Connections for argument III:

Significance:

In the long run these are all significant because they each have a tremendous impact on the foundation of the new society being built by today’s youth. The problem is not that people are addicted to people, but rather that it is quickly becoming an addiction that is worsening and harder to satisfy. If one person could be very close to you, you should be satisfied in yourself and your urge to know others. People in relationships can often support this (A functional, healthy relationship). However as people talk to an increasing amount of people on an increasing amount of devices they lose depth and connection, making hem crave more but then have even less depth, resulting in a circle that only worsens the situation and as a result causes future generations to be built upon a rotten bedrock.

Opposing Point of View:

I suppose you could disagree though, in many different ways. For one, there are those that would say people are addicted to the technology and not the people. The technology that people use is the focus of attention, not what lies through the other end of the screen. If people were indeed addicted to people you would see a state of chaos in which everybody is constantly running around talking to as many people as they possibly can or at the least they would be talking to multiple people at once. We of course do not see this in our daily lives, so how can people be addicted to others as proposed if we do not see this. The answer is simple; they never had the means to do so. No person can manage to maintain multiple conversations at once and do more than just add in blank filler sentences. However, these mediums provide something the real world does not, the conversation. By listing all that has been said it is much easier for people to talk to ten different people and feed their addiction.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, the 2000's will be known for the surge of digital-representational-devices. The multiple forms of digital-representational-devices are used to interact with people as often as possible but they do not present others with the truth and they separate you from reality. With Facebook relationships grow ever more casual, through texting people grow separated, and through video games our identity is presented in a fractured state. The sad thing is, none of these forms dictate that they have to be used like this, we have the potential to use them the in the same manner that people would interact normally, but we choose to have them veer in this direction, to distance ourselves from everybody else in order to feel included. Why is it that people feel the need to sabotage themselves in order to reach acceptance? Is it not that the devices we use are flawed but rather that humans are? It would seem so, but if you dig deeper into the issue, I'm sure that yet another layer of these issues will be revealed that will point in yet another direction and that nobody will find who is to blame and will instead have to take responsibility and fix things themselves.

Works Cited:

"Company Timeline". Facebook. November 7th, 2009 .

Anderson, M. T.. feed. Candlewick, 2004.

Standon, Andrew. Wall-E. Walt Disney Pictures, 2008.

HW 20- Big Paper 1, Revised Draft

The dawn of the 2010's is right around the corner. Now is the time to reflect, to look back on what this decade will be known for. Where the 1960's had hippies, the 70's had disco, the 80's had rock and the 90's had funky colors on everything, the 2000's will be surely known as the digital age (or at least the start of it). In the last 10 years, everything from the internet to cell phones to video games has exploded onto the scene in ways bigger than ever before. In the end though, as with every decade before this one, a clear conclusion can be drawn. People are addicted to people. Every form of digital-representational-devices can be used to link people together in some form, be in direct or through a common bond over said device. The digital age is simply a new casing over the same product that is mankind.

Like Myspace before it, and Aim before that, and email prior to that (You can go back further to phones and even letters if you really want), Facebook is the top tool to connect the people of the world. Looking at the School of the Future graduating class of 2010, at least 69 different people have facebook accounts (Based on the friend list of Henry Varona), and from that, a good 15 of those students were on it in the course of a 4 hour period. This is a common finding for American high school in New York City, and if expanded to the entire country similar ratios will be found to those on Henry Varona’s friend list. So why do people go on it so often? Well I can't answer for everybody, but I go on it to connect with everybody I know online. I can talk through normal messaging, quizzes, notes (which reach a group of people), groups centered on a common thread, applications, pictures, and so much more. Facebook has changed the way people talk because you can talk in so many different ways. This is particularly attractive because it gives people the illusion of freedom, the choice to talk to their friends however they like and whenever they can. Facebook doesn't make you respond right away. Conversations that would take minutes in spoken word can take days or weeks on Facebook, making you feel like you are really connecting with somebody even if you aren't. You feel popular when you see how many people talk to you, you feel important in a way that you can look back on so you don't have to rely on memory. People can talk in such an easier fashion, it's no wonder that it's one of the top sites in the world.

The curse of the cellular telephone encompasses almost every American. With a phone on you, which many have or give their children so that they can be safe, you are never truly alone. You are connected to every single person in the world through a simple phone and thanks to this people can connect even more. Take a schoolroom environment for example, under the tables, in their bags, off to the side of the counter, cell-phones are used for texting, talking to people across the room, in the classroom next door, wherever. God-forbid anybody wait to talk to their friends or pay attention, everybody feels the need to be constantly connected to friends they want to be with now. Here's the kicker though, texting doesn't disappear once they go hang out with their friends. And that leads to the next example, a park. Imagine you are surrounded by 10 of your closest friends having a good time hanging out. You feel a vibrate coming from your pocket and you just got a text from somebody who couldn't make it, somebody who maybe doesn't fit into that particular group. So you text, and text and even with everything you need for social interaction available, you choose your phone over your friends to talk to even more. People are rarely satisfied by what they have ready for them at the moment and are constantly searching for more ways to talk to people and as a result more time face down at a screen. And that's not even including the applications they have now...

I love my XBox 360, I'm not going to lie about it or try and hide it. Having the range of games the system provides and the chance to play video games with people all around the world whenever I want to is a very special vice for me. Back in the 90's and early 2000's, video games were a staple of my childhood. When I wasn't out with my friends playing a sport or inside playing with toys, video games were king. I would invite my best friends over and we would play and yell and scream and have a good time. Now though, video games don't need a friend right next to you thanks to the internet. People can play from the safety of their own couch with their friend who is playing on their own couch. As a result, playing video games is a lot easier, but a side effect comes out of the situation. An online persona is created, reflecting your video game mentality. Like for me, I go from normality to a sarcastic shoot-you-in-the-back kind of guy, no respect unless you respect me. My friend who has the most insane temper in the world becomes a mellow, stay-in-the-back kind of guy. Everybody becomes a completely different person and this affects the way that certain people you interact with will see you, which is both good and bad, but in the end is not real.

In conclusion, the 2000's will be known for the surge of digital-representational-devices. The multiple forms of digital-representational-devices are used to interact with people as often as possible but they do not present others with the truth and they separate you from reality. With Facebook relationships grow ever more casual, through texting people grow separated, and through video games our identity is presented in a fractured state. The sad thing is, none of these forms dictate that they have to be used like this, we have the potential to use them the in the same manner that people would interact normally, but we choose to have them veer in this direction, to distance ourselves from everybody else in order to feel included. Why is it that people feel the need to sabotage themselves in order to reach acceptance? Is it not that the devices we use are flawed but rather that humans are? It would seem so, but if you dig deeper into the issue, I'm sure that yet another layer of these issues will be revealed that will point in yet another direction and that nobody will find who is to blame and will instead have to take responsibility and fix things themselves.

HW 19- Big Paper 1, Suggestions

Maggie-

Maggie, I am very disappointed... only an introduction? You could have just used your outline even, that was a good length and had a depth to it that I'm sure you could have easily re-worked into a paper, much like I did with mine. Working with what you have though, I have the following to say:

For your intro, I think you have a solid start. You mention a few aspects of technology that can be flushed out to accomplish your thesis that digital-representational-devices are addicting. I think that with what I read of your outline that you have good points, but I almost feel that for an introduction paragraph you throw too many of them in there. An intro doesn't need to go into detail about your internet habits and it doesn't need the quantity of examples you have provided so early on. I almost feel like you are rushing into this and that your arguments might fall flat because you threw their legs out before you got to their bodies. You are also a bit jumpy structurally and I feel like you can smooth this out a bit or at least make the examples transition smoother if you decide to keep them. On a last note, I think that you should copy this into word for some grammatical help, because some of the wording felt funky and it seemed to end rashly.

If these suggestions seem to be harsh, keep in mind I had to correct an entire paper's worth of problems from one paragraph, so every minute detail is emphasized. I think that you have a good paper on the way with what I know about your previous postings and I look forward to seeing what you provide.

Best of luck,

Henry

HW 18- Big Paper 1, Rough Draft

The dawn of the 2010's is right around the corner. Now is the time to reflect, to look back on what this decade will be known for, where the 60's had hippies, the 70's had disco, the 80's had rock and the 90's had funky colors on everything, the 2000's will be surely known as the digital age. In the last 10 years, everything from the internet to cell phones to video games has exploded onto the scene in ways bigger than ever before. In the end though, as with every decade before this one, a clear conclusion can be drawn. People are addicted to people. Every form of digital-representational-devices can be used to link people together in some form, be in direct or through a common bond over said device. The digital age is simply a new casing over the same product that is mankind.

Like Myspace before it, and Aim before that, and email prior to that (You can go back further to phones and even letters if you really want), Facebook is the top tool to connect the people of the world. If you took a survey of our entire class asking who has a facebook account, you would find that at least 95% of us do. From that, a good 80% of us are on it regularly. This is a common finding for American high school in New York City, and if you expand this to the entire country you will find similar results. So why do people go on it non-stop? Well I can't answer for everybody, but I go on it to connect with everybody I know online. I can talk through normal messaging, quizzes, notes (which reach a group of people), groups centered on a common thread, applications, pictures, and so much more. Facebook has changed the way people talk because you can talk in so many different ways. This is particularly attractive because it gives people the illusion of freedom, the choice to talk to their friends however they like and whenever they can. Facebook doesn't make you respond right away. Conversations that would take minutes in spoken word can take days or weeks on Facebook, making you feel like you are really connecting with somebody even if you aren't. You feel popular when you see how many people talk to you, you feel important in a way that you can look back on so you don't have to rely on memory. People can talk in such an easier fashion, it's no wonder that it's one of the top sites in the world.

The curse of the cellular telephone encompasses almost every American. With a phone on you, which many have or give their children so that they can be safe, you are never truly alone. You are connected to every single person in the world through a simple phone and thanks to this people can connect even more. Take a schoolroom environment for example, under the tables, in their bags, off to the side of the counter, cell-phones are used for texting, talking to people across the room, in the classroom next door, wherever. God-forbid anybody wait to talk to their friends or pay attention, everybody feels the need to be constantly connected to friends they want to be with now. Here's the kicker though, texting doesn't disappear once they go hang out with their friends. And that leads to the next example, a park. Imagine you are surrounded by 10 of your closest friends having a good time hanging out. You feel a vibrate coming from your pocket and you just got a text from somebody who couldn't make it, somebody who maybe doesn't fit into that particular group. So you text, and text and even with everything you need for social interaction available, you choose your phone over your friends to talk to even more. People are rarely satisfied by what they have ready for them at the moment and are constantly searching for more ways to talk to people and as a result more time face down at a screen. And that's not even including the applications they have now...

I love my XBox 360, I'm not going to lie about it or try and hide it. Having the range of games the system provides and the chance to play video games with people all around the world whenever I want to is a very special vice for me. Back in the 90's and early 2000's, video games were a staple of my childhood. When I wasn't out with my friends playing a sport or inside playing with toys, video games were king. I would invite my best friends over and we would play and yell and scream and have a good time. Now though, video games don't need a friend right next to you thanks to the internet. People can play from the safety of their own couch with their friend who is playing on their own couch. As a result, playing video games is a lot easier, but a side effect comes out of the situation. An online persona is created, reflecting your video game mentality. Like for me, I go from normality to a sarcastic shoot-you-in-the-back kind of guy, no respect unless you respect me. My friend who has the most insane temper in the world becomes a mellow, stay-in-the-back kind of guy. Everybody becomes a completely different person and this affects the way that certain people you interact with will see you, which is both good and bad, but in the end is not real.

In conclusion, the 2000's will be known for the surge of digital-representational-devices. The multiple forms of digital-representational-devices are used to interact with people as often as possible but they do not present others with the truth and they separate you from reality. With Facebook relationships grow ever more casual, through texting people grow separated, and through video games our identity is presented in a fractured state. The sad thing is, none of these forms dictate that they have to be used like this, we have the potential to use them the in the same manner that people would interact normally, but we choose to have them veer in this direction, to distance ourselves from everybody else in order to feel included. Why is it that people feel the need to sabotage themselves in order to reach acceptance? Is it not that the devices we use are flawed but rather that humans are? It would seem so, but if you dig deeper into the issue, I'm sure that yet another layer of these issues will be revealed that will point in yet another direction and that nobody will find who is to blame and will instead have to take responsibility and fix things themselves.

HW 17- Outline Suggestions

Maggie-

Points on your paper according to where they appear:

Thesis: I think your thesis is clear and concise and you just need to tidy up the Carrie and Henry examples you put with it.

Argument 1: I like your argument here, it is something that I have seen you talk about before in other blogs so I know that you have more to say than what you put here. I think that you need to clarify your example here with Lauren, specify how you had the conversation and if it included anything else. And would talking about how the conversation or other conversations on AIM and Facebook are always casual contradict the statement because it's a deeper topic? Also, you stray a bit too much for one argument, you range from AIM to Facebook to photos and other features of these sites, you should focus instead on just AIM and Facebook, if not just one.

Argument 2: I like how you start off by talking about the interview we did earlier in the unit, but I think that you should do more than just say (Interview) when you refer to it, because not everybody will understand the context. You do however stray quite far away from the main topic you start the paragraph with, that computers are efficient. You can still use most of your examples here, but you need to connect them back to the main point otherwise it makes them seem like random ramblings on technology. You should also do this when connecting to Feed, show the parallels between the book and our world so that it is clear what you are trying to get the reader to think about.

Argument 3: I really like the way you proposed your idea here through the examples provided. I think that all of these examples are relevant and could use a little expansion or connection to really make it work. You spend twice as much time developing Wall-E as any of your other examples, and they falter a bit as a result.

Conclusion: I think this is a fine conclusion, but you can fluff it out a bit to make it sound a bit more approachable and appealing to accept.

Overall: I think that you have a lot of great ideas here in your outline and I am genuinely interested in what you have to say in these postings that will come up. I think that in order for these to become really relevant and exciting you really need to smooth things together more so that it has flow. The way you currently propose your points is very "blurty", by this I mean you just throw stuff out there but there is no flow. If you can both expand on your points and get them to flow together more you will have a tremendous paper that everybody should read.