We are constantly trying to fill the void in our lives with attention and approval. If the media has shown us anything, it is that the kids that come from a broken home are often the coolest. Now, this is not always true, but if you look at movies like Spider-Man, you can see this often is the case. See, in Spider-Man, Peter Parker has a happy life with with Aunt and Uncle, and has almost no mayhem in his home life. He is of course, a nerd. On the contrary, his neighbor, Mary-Jane Watson, comes from a home with an abusive father and is shown to be very cool at school. This can be explained as having a larger void to fill. You see, Peter is happy and as such he feels no need to live his life in any way other than the path his family enforces. Since he doesn't really need to break away from his mold, he doesn't need to be cool and becomes a nerd. Mary-Jane on the other hand greatly feels this need to be cool because she is being given a destructive and highly negative path at home. Therefore, she acts out and tries to be "cool". This is a cry for both attention and approval, both of which she was denied at home, whereas Peter had them in surplus.
1- In you first argument, you use my cool story as a point of reference in summarizing a point. However, you misinterpreted the story by saying she refused to do the teachers work, because she does in fact do the work on the board for the class. Also, you mention that this and other stories demonstrate doing something positive to become cool, however my story doesn't really fit this mold. She isn't doing anything bad, but she isn't doing anything particularly positive either. I would rethink using this piece of evidence for this argument.
2- I think that you should expand your drug argument. There are drugs less severe and more common drugs that are seen as much cooler than heroin that you could discuss. Take marijuana for example, which is used much more frequent and is exposed to teens at a much younger age and is more accepted. Also, heroin is too well known to be harmful to be as relevant.
3- On a side not, some of your post appears in a different font than the rest of it, and while I believe it was intentional in the intro, it's use in the last few paragraphs was confusing.
Kate-
We use cool as a way to hide our true selves to try and blend in. Should we turn to the media, we can see many examples of this. Take for example the movie "The New Guy". In this movie, protagonist Dizzy is a nerd, simply put. However, he gets embarrassed horribly on the first day of his senior year and is put on meds, eventually going crazy and sent to jail where he is shown the light that he needs to reinvent himself or "revamp". He then creates a new identity for a new school and becomes the coolest kid and gets the hot cheerleader. This movie shows in perfect fashion the ways that one will hide who they truly are to blend in and be cool.
1- I think that you could expand your argument on hair. You state what it is very clearly, however you don't seem to draw much of a conclusion from it, at least not immediately where it would make logical sense for flow.
2- Some of your spacing is really weird, parts of the paragraphs start on new lines randomly and it makes it a little distracting to follow those parts.
3- I agree with Andy, I think you could draw an interesting conclusion between masks and how we throw our insecurities onto them. What would this say about cool? Is cool really just the worst part of yourself? Is it the best?
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